Groucho Marx Quotes.

Julius Henry “Groucho” Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977) was an American comedian, actor, writer, stage, film, radio, and television star. He is generally considered to have been a master of quick wit and one of America’s greatest comedians.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.

A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‘Yes,’ you know he is a crook.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

My favourite poem is the one that starts ‘Thirty days hath September’ because it actually tells you something.

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